Tasks for Today

22 Feb

Single White Female, the AE from hell who’s completely delusional, is killing me.

SWF: It’s my birthday in 2 weeks, so can we go out for drinks tonight to celebrate?
Me: How many times are we going to have to do this before your actual birthday?
SWF: Four or five. {giggles like a 6 year old slow child}
Me: I have plans tonight. Going out with some friends to that new gastropub around the corner.
SWF: Ooooh. I want to come!
Me: No.
SWF: {says across the hall to my colleague} You know, I once thought my boss cared about me. Now it’s clear she’s just mean. I don’t think I want to be friends with her anymore.
Colleague: Were you friends to start with? How ’bout you grab me a donut from the break room?
SWF: {tears welling up} No one cares about meeeeee! It’s my birthdayyyyyyyy!

Time for me to find her a job in the media department where she’s far away. There she can wear her baby blue pashmina with matching sweater and pearls all she wants without making me vomit.

Task
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I Don’t Want To Marry Anyone

21 Feb

I love Ted Royer’s (ECD, droga5) article on the Boards Magazine site entitled “I want to marry a producer“. It made me think that I should look for a producer to date too, as I could then be “self-indulgent, self-congratulatory” and “self-absorbed”. Oh. But I already am all those things. Which probably means I missed my calling as an executive creative director. Read the article…reminds me why I try not to date guys in the industry…just sleep with them (I kid..mostly). Ted could be attractive though…in that self-absorbed, self-indulgent, looks-like-a-frat-boy, typical creative director way.

Ted

YouTube Is A Fad

21 Feb

Thoroughly frustrated with one of my clients today. Big client. Big, big, big client. I dare say that if you stopped a Torghut on his way across the Ala-shan plateau in the Gobi desert and asked him if he was familiar with this company, he would be. Then he would kill you and he and his falcon would have a nice dinner. I digress. Had a meeting with one of the mindless middle managers to discuss a YouTube ad we’d be doing for her group within this company.

Me: And that’s our concept for the ad. We’ll have to start production next week to meet the April run date.
Mindless Middle Manager: YouTube? Isn’t that where kids watch pornography on the internets?
Me: Ummm..well…actually the demographics are a little different. Your competitors have been using YouTube for over a year to reach your customers and are experiencing high interaction rates. Whether or not you personally like YouTube, it stands to reason XXX Corporation needs to have a presence there. Besides, it’s not a stand-alone initiative. It’s part of a larger campaign.
MMM: I honestly think all this video on the web is a passing fancy. No one in my circle watches video on our computers. It’s a kid thing. So we’re going to pass. I’m going to divert the funds to direct mail.
Me: Direct mail? So the campaign will have TV, a microsite, banner ads, event marketing and postcards? Your media team already booked the space, too.
MMM: It’s proven. The internets are not proven.
Me: I’m not going to argue with you. This whole internet thing might end tomorrow. You’re right.

Another (Mo)ron

19 Feb

More cover letter goodness. I’m going to wallpaper my office with this shit.

“I’m always the middle (wo)man…and I’m okay with that. Friends say I’m resourceful and family just say I’m nosy. To you that means a high performing interactive leader who sees the big digital picture with crystal ball-like clarity and problem solves with little or no guidance. I’m a strategic visionary who uses humor, finesse and gumption to secure buy-in at all levels. The rest? Well, you can see for yourself.”

Resourceful and nosy. Sounds like she’s a pickpocket in her spare time. Or my ex mother-in-law. Same thing.

UPDATE: I accidentally deleted a comment that asked what I think is a good cover letter. A good cover letter doesn’t sound as if it was copied out of Cover Letters for Dummies. If it uses industry terminology, it better be in context. And don’t be too quirky. Quirky’s fine in person – in an email it makes you sound psychotic and desperate. Attaching your bank routing and account numbers also works to garner my interest.

Hope.Act.Change.

19 Feb

Got forwarded this amazing site (amazing because it was created in a week) from a friend who works at Syrup.

“This website is a place where people can come together to be a part of something bigger than themselves. People are able to submit their photos (and eventually videos and words) to the site and become a part of our “collective video”; a digitally rendered mosaic super-imposed on the Yes We Can Song video. This is the first in a planned series of data visualizations that will explore human collective intelligence and collaboration in an effort to bring about change – in this case, the course of American politics.

This has been an unbelievable project to say the least: a song written and  recorded by multiple major recording artists, musicians and actors in 1 day; a video concepted, shot and produced 3 days and posted to the web, garnering nearly 30 million views in one week! …and finally a bleeding-edge website conceived, designed, programmed by Syrup and posted live on the web in 1 week.”

Blah, blah, blah. Whatever. Not really into the subject matter, but the concept’s definitely different and the creative’s fabulous (wouldn’t say bleeding edge but WTF do I know).

Hope Act Change

Should I Ski or Should I Go?

15 Feb

Today at lunch with a friend, I used the phrase “brand equity” and we weren’t even remotely talking about marketing. We were talking about her agency co-workers who think she’s a mindless idiot (she is). I got back to the office and decided I’m going to become a cutter. Maybe I just need a weekend away.

I love love love this expandable banner by Kelliher Samets Volk for Stowe Mountain Resorts. It’s one time I like creative that’s busy. Very nice flash – no loading – nice work.

Stowe

Finally, I Can Breathe!

15 Feb

Jesus, this week was extra-crazy. I’m back to my normal self today. Was traveling yesterday and sat next to this guy who decided to tell me all about his recent rehab stint and how he’s a history professor at NYU. Right. Then he mentioned his brother works at W+K and wants to move out here, so I gave him my card because I’m still desperate for people. Instead of an email from the brother, I get this:

Fucking Weirdo

Then, on Valentine’s Day, I get this psycho one-liner:

Valentines

His brother better not fucking call me. I will reach through the phone and beat the hell out of him.