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Streamlining Agency Processes

16 Oct

Yesterday’s meeting was about simplifying and perfecting our processes. This was described to us in a 38 page powerpoint, which included the photo below, which was meant to tell us to “think about what we’re doing before we do it”. This was followed by 7 pages of intricate flow charts and funnels. What I think about when I see this picture is as follows: our process director is a fucking moron who spends too much time rubbing rosemary oil on his head and not enough time in the real world dealing with real clients. I also don’t have 2 hours a week to spend in a “Weekly Vertical Research Review Session”. I’m too busy applying systematic processes and analytical techniques to marketing problems, which allows us to prescribe improvements to increase our clients’ marketing performance.



All Staff Meetings And Me

10 Oct

For the past hour and a half, I’ve been in a whole-agency meeting about process and QA. One slide in the Powerpoint (who needs a Powerpoint to have a meeting? Our strategy folks, that’s who.) was called “Process and You”. I felt like I was reading a sex ed book. Luckily, I brought my laptop into the meeting and both caught up on my email and had several conversations via IM. I did manage to write down a few notes during the meeting:

“I need to call the salon and make sure my waxing appointment is buttoned up. From my POV and ideation, if I miss it, there’s no way I’ll be wearing that new lingerie I just bought anytime soon. Stakeholders and linear models be damned.”

I’m So Glad They Exist

1 Oct

I’m ordering an assortment of these cards from 16 Sparrows today. The first one below, I’m going to send to my boss. Not really, although today, I wish that I could. How can you focus on strategic initiatives for your clients when you have to go through a re-org every 2 months? My new team knows nothing about my clients’ businesses and it will take weeks to get them up to speed – how is this good for determining advertising spend, future initiatives and demographic targeting? But maybe I need to send the second card below to myself and get the fuck over it.

Thanks Crybaby