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Streamlining Agency Processes

16 Oct

Yesterday’s meeting was about simplifying and perfecting our processes. This was described to us in a 38 page powerpoint, which included the photo below, which was meant to tell us to “think about what we’re doing before we do it”. This was followed by 7 pages of intricate flow charts and funnels. What I think about when I see this picture is as follows: our process director is a fucking moron who spends too much time rubbing rosemary oil on his head and not enough time in the real world dealing with real clients. I also don’t have 2 hours a week to spend in a “Weekly Vertical Research Review Session”. I’m too busy applying systematic processes and analytical techniques to marketing problems, which allows us to prescribe improvements to increase our clients’ marketing performance.


Lotus

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All Staff Meetings And Me

10 Oct

For the past hour and a half, I’ve been in a whole-agency meeting about process and QA. One slide in the Powerpoint (who needs a Powerpoint to have a meeting? Our strategy folks, that’s who.) was called “Process and You”. I felt like I was reading a sex ed book. Luckily, I brought my laptop into the meeting and both caught up on my email and had several conversations via IM. I did manage to write down a few notes during the meeting:

“I need to call the salon and make sure my waxing appointment is buttoned up. From my POV and ideation, if I miss it, there’s no way I’ll be wearing that new lingerie I just bought anytime soon. Stakeholders and linear models be damned.”

I’m So Glad They Exist

1 Oct

I’m ordering an assortment of these cards from 16 Sparrows today. The first one below, I’m going to send to my boss. Not really, although today, I wish that I could. How can you focus on strategic initiatives for your clients when you have to go through a re-org every 2 months? My new team knows nothing about my clients’ businesses and it will take weeks to get them up to speed – how is this good for determining advertising spend, future initiatives and demographic targeting? But maybe I need to send the second card below to myself and get the fuck over it.

Thanks Crybaby