Drinks, Anyone?

I’ve been sitting in the same chair for 14 hours with the same 2 people sitting on either side of me…..ideating. I’m sure they’re tired of looking at me too, but I don’t think it’s quite the same. You know you’re tired when you tell your boss “that slide sucks..take it out. I can’t believe you even wrote that crap.”  Need alcohol now. Check out this Saatchi ad that was on FFFFOUND! for 42 Below vodka. I’m too tired to even think through the pictures, but it has something to do with drinking too much and cross dressing, so I automatically love it.

(via FFFFOUND!)

Busy At The Shop Today

Sorry for the lack of posts today. I cannot get out from under the 3 client presentations due tomorrow. Help!

Wound Too Tight

I just walked out of a meeting to go over a project pitch for one of our largest clients. The presentation was entirely too copy heavy, so I mentioned to the creator of the pitch to add more visual elements, less text. His response to me was:

“Fine. Fine. Fine, fine, fine. FINE! FINE FINE FINE! You add your fucking pretty pictures. I communicate using words.”

Okay.

Two Time Loser

I suppose that spending 4 hours in the office on Saturday and 8 hours on Sunday isn’t the best way to spend a weekend. I’m a fucking loser! But when 2 of your team members slack off and produce a less-than-stellar presentation for a Monday meeting, you gotta pick up the slack. How hard is it to pull research and translate that into relevant information for your client? Apparently it’s incredibly difficult because I think I screwed the presentation up even further. The only good thing about being at the shop on the weekend (other than finishing all the beer that was left in the fridge) is only a few devs are lurking around, so it’s fairly quiet. Speaking of devs and losers, I love this print ad for Axe.

(via Make the logo bigger)

After This Week’s Meeting

This is what I hope to be doing in my hotel room – cocktails, underwear, couch, in that order. Of course I don’t exactly look like this girl, but one can always hope. Hot print ad by &Co for jbs mens underwear with a never-truer tagline, “Men don’t want to look at naked men” (unless you’re my friend Mark, then you do).

(via Ads Of The World)

Oratio Horribilis

It wasn’t that bad. I made them laugh a few times and I only saw 2 people try to slit their wrists with plastic knives. And since it was being video taped, I had these awful lights in my face which were actually a blessing because I couldn’t see anyone clearly. The only part that was questionable was when I made a reference to baboons when talking about search strategies. I don’t know where it came from.  I really shouldn’t be allowed out in public.

A Bleary Eyed Tart

I’m completely fried and looking at another long night at the office with only the window washers to keep me company. There’s 2 enormous presentations next week – one a branding research study and the other a 26 million dollar media pitch. My problem is this: I have to present the research study to a very large group of people and my public speaking skills are appalling. And when I invariably hit a low point in a speech, I make off-color jokes for no apparent reason. So I ‘m writing down the exact words I’m going to say so that doesn’t happen. Outcome is not favorable.

4 Donuts = Upbeat Client Presentation

I just totally nailed a pitch to a client and I’m positive it’s due to the four chocolate cake donuts I ate an hour before. Everything that poured out of my mouth was liquid gold – almost like cocaine with the added 1000 calories. The client literally told me I could up our estimate by $300k. I peed in my Hudsons a little at that point.

With the bonus I’ll get from this, I’ll trade in my car for a Volvo. Hah! I’ll do that right after I buy my summer wardrobe at Lilly Pulitzer. But the new Volvo video-rich microsite is pretty neat (Forsman and Bodenfors) – check out when the guy is giving the speech at the beginning and points to the movie screen. When I clicked on the Joyride section, I had a flashback, but that’s a whole ‘nother story.

Big Breasted Bust

You know you’re SOL when the client starts talking about competing agencies during the pitch. Even our surgically-enhanced project manager (complete with one too many buttons undone and her unmentionables peeking out) couldn’t grab their attention. It all started out so well – the CD brought his uncharged Mac sans power cord, the projector died and the client’s brand police gave us a shakedown. It totally made my day! Our new business manager seems to think we still have a chance. I think when you get hired for that position, HR issues you horse blinders along with your insurance package and laptop. Try making your own horse/co-worker analogies – it’s fun!

Why do clients always go for the comps that aren’t your favorite?

Just had a comp review for a microsite with another client today. We did 3 concepts – one we adore and is ultra-cool and ultra-rich, the second is colorful and fun, but vanilla, and the third is standard, boring, static html. We made the 3rd concept boring on purpose to force the client into choosing from the first two. The client loved the 2nd concept, but after lots of begging and pleading, I think she might agree to do the first concept. If she does, I’ll post the creative after it’s done – if I do say so myself, it’s a work of art considering the content.

Check out this agency’s site (Fuel Industries)- in particular the interactive desktop companion pictured below. Great idea for keeping the agency top of mind. Not sure how many people will download it, but it showcases another creative ability of the shop.

Interminable Client Pitches

I just got out of a pitch to be the agency of record for a small software company. The guys we pitched to know just enough about advertising and analytics to be dangerous. During the meeting, I wrote down some of the hilarious corporate-speak they used to sound like they were marketing gurus. Brand Re-Awareness? Verticals. Traction. Granular. Hygiene. Deliverables. Thought leader. Bandwidth. Bailiwick. Resonate. Discipline. By the end of the meeting, I had thrown up a little in my mouth. Anyone have any good pitch stories for me to make me feel better?

Week’s Over

Woke up this morning and was so glad it was Saturday until I looked at my Blackberry. One call from our CEO (probably wondering if I got sign off on my 2 outstanding SOWs) and 87 emails. One email was from a potential side client of an existing client of mine. She wants me to put together yet another PowerPoint about why and when to to buy online media – and I’ve already sent her 3 others. It’s a potentially good buy (over 700k), but I’ve spent over 9 hours this week devising ways for her to sign off. Fortunately, I didn’t bring my laptop home this weekend, so I can’t work on it – I have a Mac at home without PowerPoint. So convenient.

How exciting is it that today, Saturday, is St. Patrick’s Day? Not that I need an excuse for barhopping on weekends. Have you noticed that there hasn’t been a ton of advertising for it this year? Seems to be declining – you’d think the beverage industry would get all gooey inside thinking of all the binge drinking they could inspire.