Our Guy Qualifies.

Scamp posts on Thursday, “Who Is The World’s Weirdest-Looking Creative Director?” and shows some pics of the new Grey CD and a very disturbing old one of Donny Deutsch. I hope that wasn’t a mullet and just a shadow. I’d still do him with the mullet (paper bag required). Some of our clients have a huge crush on our CD. Personally, I think he looks like a cross between the mayor of Whoville and an angry Viking. He’s not the world’s weirdest looking, but he’s pretty fucking weird. Fairly smart though, so that’s all that counts. Would not do him.

(Donny Deutsch)

I Know Whose Ads Are Gonna Get These

How great is this site by the Design Police? 5 templates like this to download. Too bad there aren’t virtual ones with which you can tag online ads – – I can think of more than a few that deserve “Style Over Content” and “Severe Lack of Creativity”. Love it. I think I might sneak by some of the creatives’ Macs and slap some of these on their screens. Nah. I have no taste. I’m client side.

(via advertising/design goodness)

The Best Site. Ever. Seriously.

Our art director comes down the hallway, all moody and unshaven as usual, and says, “Can you come down to my office? I want to show you something. Have you ever played doctor? I read WebMD a lot. No, seriously though..” and then he and our ACD promptly show me this fabulous site called KnickerPicker. This is how video can really work for your clients in an ecommerce environment. Our AD and ACD like it because you can zoom in on half-naked women, pick from different size women and change their bra and panties. I like it because it truly is a virtual dressing room – without those silly avatars that have been used in recent years that were unwieldy and time-consuming. The girls are not half-bad to look at either. The guys here like the girl on the right, because she’s got a little junk in her trunk (not the girl below). Now I’ve got to go to the gym tonight and do 500 lunges. Or just eat a doughnut. No clue about the agency who did the creative, but if you know, please share. UPDATE: Creative by scenestealer – again, very, very nice work.

(via The FWA)

If I Think About It Too Much, I’ll Vomit

Went out with some clients last night and when we got in my car at the end of the night, this exchange occurred:

Jennifer: Your creative director is a hottie.
Me: What?
Jennifer: Yeah, if I wasn’t married and he wasn’t married, I’d be all about that.
Anna: He is really cute.
Me: {snort} Please. He looks like a character from Avenue Q. Plus, he’s an egotistical asshole.
Anna: Uh…he’s just like you.
Me: So I’m an asshole?

It’s All Been Done Before

As witnessed with the Sony Bravia debacle this week, most creative always has it’s roots somewhere else. And usually in another campaign. I saw this segment on Derren Brown’s show a few weeks ago (poor Saatchi guys..I feel a little bad for them), but FishNChimps has gloriously posted it. Make sure you watch until the end (it’s long..be forewarned) when Derren shows how he did it, and you’ll see how your creative is categorically influenced by your environment. Which is why everything our shop does looks like an Xbox game or AKQA’s last campaign. Kidding. Kind of.

We’ve All Been Here

I love when creative directors do this – especially the pause after the big idea. Typical. Check out this spot called “The Sony Idea” from Lowe Brindfors for the Roy Awards.

Can I Be Honest?

Sometimes I hate the creative department. They’re so sensitive. Or maybe I’m just a uncaring harpy. Either way I want to strangle some of them today.   As we all know, there are clients who let us have free reign and create something fabulous and out of the box.  Then there are those who just want an agency to execute their vision, however sucky it is.  The latter is what we’re delivering this week. Not only does the creative team hate the concept, they hate that the client calls with tweaks every 20 minutes.  I can’t stand this client either, but in order to do the fabulous stuff, sometimes you have to suck it up and do something boring.  And usually, boring pays the bills.  So shut your cake hole and do the frickin work you lazy sack So buck up guys, the project’s almost over.

The good thing about advertising agencies

Is we close for no good reason.  We closed on Groundhog Day for god’s sake. And we’re closing for the Fourth…and the fifth…and the sixth.  It would be a perfect job if it wasn’t for the clients and the creatives.  I had one designer tell me today that he wasn’t working on a build because he doesn’t agree with the way the client wants the site. He could have told me that earlier instead of 7 days before the campaign is due to launch. I’m thinking of bringing a baseball bat to work from now on because I really want to beat the hell out of somebody.

Big Breasted Bust

You know you’re SOL when the client starts talking about competing agencies during the pitch. Even our surgically-enhanced project manager (complete with one too many buttons undone and her unmentionables peeking out) couldn’t grab their attention. It all started out so well – the CD brought his uncharged Mac sans power cord, the projector died and the client’s brand police gave us a shakedown. It totally made my day! Our new business manager seems to think we still have a chance. I think when you get hired for that position, HR issues you horse blinders along with your insurance package and laptop. Try making your own horse/co-worker analogies – it’s fun!

The South Screech Diet

It’s almost time to throw on some shorts and skip around town. Well, maybe not you, but that’s what I do. Anyway…today I thought I’d look online for a quick, damaging, unhealthy way to lose 2 pounds in a week. Instead of finding an illegal pill  (damn), I found a banner for The South Beach Diet. It was actually a fairly cute Flash banner, so I clicked through to see what goodness was on the other side. It was pure evil. Apparently the marketing folks thought that women wearing fugly outfits from Forever 21 singing songs about breakfast burritos would be spot on target. Maybe I can live with those 2 pounds after all. Site is below if you want to see what I mean. But I warned you.

 

Jesus. Cross. Fitness. Jesus!

I really, really don’t know what to say about this banner ad (below) I saw on FitSugar tonight (I love the whole TeamSugar thing, regardless) for a company called the Lord’s Gym. At first, I thought it was a joke, but then I clicked on it and realized…well, I realized there are some people out there who are very….different. As far as the creative goes, scaring people with bizarre images does not induce qualified click traffic. I wonder how many impressions the gym bought on the network and if we’ll all be seeing the ads everywhere soon. What do you think? I really want to make an off color joke about this ad….it’s too easy!

Advertising Used Car Salesmen

I can’t sell. To be honest, I won’t sell. Our VP is high-pressure, even though he thinks the clients think he’s a cool dude. So it’s hard for me to be in the same room as him and one of my clients. He’s constantly asking, “Any new projects out on the horizon for us?” or “Let’s get together for a brainstorming session on new opportunities.” – it makes my skin crawl. My clients continue to give new projects to me because I don’t bother them. My theory is, let the work speak for itself and if they like it (and you), they’ll keep using your agency. All the pressure in the world won’t work if your creative sucks or you miss deadlines.

I got an offer from another agency (on the analytics side of advertising) yesterday. My salary would stay the same, but I would be able to work from home 3 days a week. I love my agency – my co-workers are the best group I’ve ever worked with – but I have two issues: the constant pressure to sell and ability to telecommute. But analytics doesn’t interest me in the least. Maybe I could learn to love data. Nah.