Tasks for Today

22 Feb

Single White Female, the AE from hell who’s completely delusional, is killing me.

SWF: It’s my birthday in 2 weeks, so can we go out for drinks tonight to celebrate?
Me: How many times are we going to have to do this before your actual birthday?
SWF: Four or five. {giggles like a 6 year old slow child}
Me: I have plans tonight. Going out with some friends to that new gastropub around the corner.
SWF: Ooooh. I want to come!
Me: No.
SWF: {says across the hall to my colleague} You know, I once thought my boss cared about me. Now it’s clear she’s just mean. I don’t think I want to be friends with her anymore.
Colleague: Were you friends to start with? How ’bout you grab me a donut from the break room?
SWF: {tears welling up} No one cares about meeeeee! It’s my birthdayyyyyyyy!

Time for me to find her a job in the media department where she’s far away. There she can wear her baby blue pashmina with matching sweater and pearls all she wants without making me vomit.

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