I got back from my business trip and walked in the back door so I could sneak to my office. Not 2 steps into the building I hear my name yelled and footsteps running toward me – I then get tackled by our operations manager who keeps repeating how much she missed me. She shoves a Sephora bag into my hands with 3 bottles of perfume I’ve been wanting and says she’s so glad I’m back. It’s just then that I notice she’s wearing the same brown dress I bought a few weeks ago. She says, “Don’t you love it! Now I can look just like you!” and there’s no sarcasm there. I think my plans have changed to include moving out of the country.
I have a new definition of a relaxing vacation. Pick which one you think it is:
- Minimum of 100 emails a day, with over half requesting immediate action.
- 14 phone calls within an hour of checking into your hotel.
- 84 emails from take off to landing.
- Invitation to 6 meetings on the day you return, the first beginning at 8:30am.
- All of the above.
Of course it’s all of the above. I hate every single person who emailed and called me. I have plans for them which involve rubber gloves and guano. Tomorrow will be a fun day.
I love our semi-open work environment, where we can all share ideas and insult each other. But smelly Jeans Guy won’t stop his incessant chatter about his Porsche Cayenne and his wife’s new 5 series BMW. So when he got rear-ended two days ago and and complained all day about the $12k repair costs I laughed in his face. Mean, maybe. Satisfying, definitely. Today he thinks he has whiplash, so I keep calling his name when he’s walking in front of me so he has to turn his head around.
Check out the site for Argentinian artist Ricardo Liniers (below) – Saltamonte did a fantastic job of showcasing his work. He would be fabulous to use on an interactive site – reminds me of high level Adidas microsite illustrations. Turn the light off on the desktop – the little guy has decidedly more neck rotation than Jeans Guy.
Sorry. I can’t. One of my agency co-workers always plays some John Tesh-type music in her cube. Today she’s strayed a little and she’s playing John Lennon. I just shouted “turn that crap down” and she told me it was “inspirational” and I should listen to the lyrics. Lady, if there was “no need for greed or hunger”, we’d be out on the street and out of a job.
I love the new commercial BBDO New York did for Pepsi. Where do you get a big, purring ball? I want one.
In a quandary concerning your lame co-workers, your even lamer creative director, your client or a project you royally screwed up? Or are you the client and need to know why your agency is so unresponsive (I can answer that one now – you’re a needy bitch and they don’t like dealing with you)? Send me an email or leave a comment and I’ll post my insightful and profound answer for all to see.
And I’m not talkin’ about our project manager’s surgical enhancements. Nearly everyone in our agency is producer or director-level! And it’s not just our agency. Our media managers are even called Brand Reach Directors. Clients have no idea this is all posing – they’re just happy they’re talking with someone “important”. I guarantee you there is an agency out there where everyone is a vice president. It’s just too bad no one here can do any work now.
You know you’re SOL when the client starts talking about competing agencies during the pitch. Even our surgically-enhanced project manager (complete with one too many buttons undone and her unmentionables peeking out) couldn’t grab their attention. It all started out so well – the CD brought his uncharged Mac sans power cord, the projector died and the client’s brand police gave us a shakedown. It totally made my day! Our new business manager seems to think we still have a chance. I think when you get hired for that position, HR issues you horse blinders along with your insurance package and laptop. Try making your own horse/co-worker analogies – it’s fun!
Rumblings around the shop today that we’re being acquired by a bigger and better agency. And then I happened to be picking something off the copier and out comes confirmation! It was an email our CEO was printing out, which I stealthily read, that was apologizing to a friend for being “out of pocket” (blecch – corporate speak already) because getting our agency’s ducks in a row for the acquisition was taking up a lot of his time. I, for one, can’t wait to see who’s acquiring us! Keep you posted. In the meantime, check out this rich media banner (kiss, below) you can interact with, advertising Rimmel lip-plumping lip gloss, from PointRoll‘s site. And I like the lipstick blot – reminds me of Britney Spears new wrist tattoo. Eewww. Why do I know that?
There’s this new project manager on our team (let’s call her Amy) who is either extremely inexperienced or one of the more bizarre people I’ve met in advertising. We kicked off a project this morning with a new client (not the software folks) and afterwards, along with the notes from the kickoff meeting, I got this via email:
Thank you so much for the opportunity to work with you on this upcoming project. I feel that my strengths as a certified project manager will lend themselves to our client. Please do not hesitate to contact me at any time and again, I look forward to collaborating with you on this.
WTF is that?! Is that a thank you letter for a job interview? Did she copy and paste that off of a resume site? So so so so strange. What makes it even more bizarre is that she sits 4 feet from me.