Go Ahead Then, Be That Way

Our shop’s doing one of those boooorrrringggg video-host microsites for a big client of ours. The contact for this project calls me yesterday evening after the second round of script revisions. Keep in mind that this is an award-winning, respected scriptwriter that has written 90% of the other projects we’ve done for them.

Client:You’re still way off the mark with the script. I don’t think you understand what the product really is.
Me: It’s a glorified super ball. I think we’ve got it. We’ve also done over a month of research into the product and extensive demographic profiling.
Client: Do you understand it bounces higher than the competition? I don’t think you do.
Me: Yes. It’s the bounciest ball in the world. It can out-bounce even the best super balls. Plus, it glows in the dark. Who knew?
Client: I think I’m just going to re-write the script myself. I think I have more insight into my own product than a scriptwriter.
Me: Have you ever written for talent before?
Client: No, but how hard can it be? I’ll have it to you in a week.
Me: The shoot is on Monday. I recommend you let us take another crack at it.
Client: I don’t think so. I’ll have it to you next week.

A Discombobulated, Caffeinated Mess

Take this with a grain of salt, because I have a slight inclination to be irritated by everything Digitas does. MediaPost has an article out today about the relaunch of a site for Sparks, a caffeinated alcoholic drink by SAB Miller. Upon first glance, the site looks cool – nav is fun, if you absolutely love Google Maps, and the illustrations are a little funky. It stops there. The interactivity lacks a certain je ne sais quois. And, je ne sais quois what that is, but it’s missing something. For example, I clicked through to watch all the semi-entertaining videos, but there were a ton of other things I expected to be clickable, and nothing. Rien. And when I said “semi-entertaining videos”, I lied a little.  What I really like is the copy, “Where do I get my hands on some cans?” Because everyone loves sexual innuendo.

A Little Ulysses-Like

I love reading Copyranter. Because I’m both lazy and lack peripheral vision, I never read the About Me section. Here it is in all its glory. I snickered out loud a few times over it. You will, too.

“I hate capri pants. Also: advertising, advertising people, Donny Deutsch, PR people, marketing people, salespeople, real estate people, journalists, lawyers, doctors, Streeters, midtown, the Upper East Side, the Upper West Side, going to Brooklyn, fake blondes, real blondes, saline implants, silicone implants, Civil War enthusiasts, Republicans, Democrats, Liberals, Conservatives, fireworks, parades, Summer, Winter, greeting cards, stuffed animals, children’s drawings, video games, religions, personal trainers, golf, golf courses, golfers, polo shirts, clogs, crocs, The Yankees, Yankee fans, mooks, Carson Daly, the Hamptons, Hoboken, people who don’t know how to walk in NYC, spitters, The Strokes (yawn), Coldplay (yawn), Moby (facepunch), TV, Radio, Magazines, stand-up comedy, Readings, SUVs, PCs, drinking straws, weddings, Brunch, fondue fountains, chick peas, Starbucks coffee, Candice Bushnell, Amy Sohn, James Joyce, Don DeLillo, John Grisham, Chuck Klosterman, screenwriters (dicks), short men (Napoleon Complexed turds), Jason Binn, men named Jack, Dr. Phil, Scrabble®, people who don’t hate anything. I probably at least don’t care for you. “

What’s Wrong With This?

Cute article in Advertising Age’s Small Agency Diary today by Marc Brownstein about agency decor.  But what was more interesting to me was this comment, and the author of the comment:

I’m not even going to say it.

Google Ads Are Boring

Unless you convert them to Swedish Chef copy, and then you’ll see your CTR soar. I saw this ad on PopSugar tonight and I was so bored by it. I wanted to click on it to support the Sugars, but I fell asleep while thinking about it. But now, after some crafty wordsmithing, I think PopSugar will take heed for future ad placements. My point is this – you better be adept at writing concise and snappy ad copy to get dumbasses people to click on text ads. Too bad bloggers can’t filter out what crap ads they get with Google.