So I forgot to post about slicing babies in half. And now I’ve forgotten what the exact topic was because I’ve been in an alcoholic haze for 3 days. But I am sofa king happy – our agency just took 8 figures of business away from my nemesis and they don’t know yet. They find out tomorrow. Suckers! I’m going straight to Jimmy Choo after work and buying that purple handbag that looks like a vagina. It’s a wonder that companies are still paying this much for online as I can’t get my big box client to cough up 50k for a microsite. Speaking of that client, this morning I get an email from this marketing whore who just took over a director position in one of the divisions. She started last Wednesday.
Marketing Whore: I’m a little confused as to why you haven’t contacted me yet as you are our digital agency of record.
AT: I always like to give people a week or two to settle in before I bombard them with calls. But congratulations! We’re excited to start working with you. How do you feel about getting together for lunch or drinks this week?
Marketing Whore: I don’t accept lunch invitations from my agencies as I feel it clouds my ability to lead them. I don’t like blurred lines. And I don’t drink.
AT: I can appreciate that. {snort…} How about I swing by tomorrow and we can talk for a while?
Marketing Whore: I have a very busy schedule Agency Tart. I’ll have my assistant get back to you.
She can have her assistant get back to my ass! No one puts Agency Tart in a corner.
Oh, man. She’s gonna be fun to work with. One of those people that will demand changes just so they can have their stamp on it. I predict that sometime in your dealings with her that she will actually utter the immortal line, “I’d like to see the logo a little bigger.”
No microsite will ever be good enough for this lady.
Market Ho sounds just a little passive-aggressive.
Also “my agencies” is a major red flag.
But at least she hasn’t asked if you’ve accepted Christ as your personal saviour.
Spend the profits of her budget drinking with your other clients.
Time = Love, she ain’t got either, so spend it elsewhere.
AT, I’m wiping my face from the tears on this. You are too funny! My wife would love one of those vagina bags, she loves Jimmy C. Better hope Marketing Whore never finds your blog or you’ll be Agency Bitch.
Just a little passive-aggressive there. I can see that’s going to be a fun relationship
Sofa King
“Clouds my ability to lead them” Just the fact that she looks at at agency relationship as “leading them” would have me worried. If that’s how she thinks it should work, she’s going to be a lousy client.
As usual, you dare to write what I can only think here in Hooterville. Market Ho is a Mean Girl. We’re surrounded by women like this: insecure, bitchy, got something to prove. She’d do well to shut up and let you push her to the top…if she keeps it up, she’ll get pushed outta window!
People who don’t drink have no business to be anywhere near the ad business.
You’re back!
We missed you.
Fuck – over on the sunny side we just moved 8 million people into a damn building that isn’t even vaguely finished – the lift is held by a bungee cord, the water stops to the 2nd and 3rd floors in the afternoon and the fat corporate fucking fuckers are all on the top floor making the flimsy wooden floor shake.
I hate them.