Single White Female hasn’t been bothering me as much anymore since I promoted her to “senior” account executive (we don’t have any other AEs in the office, but she doesn’t seem to notice..). But this morning she came in my office, situated herself on my couch and began to tell me about her weekend at some freakfest festival where she “hooked up” with 4 guys.
AT: In your little mind, what exactly does “hooked up” mean?
SWF: You know! It was sooooooooo fun. You would have been sooooooo proud of me. I met the most AMAZING people.
AT: Ummm…I’m definitely proud of you for carrying those purple sparkle condoms in your bag that you got at the free clinic. I would have been more proud if you would have took some pictures and emailed them to me.
SWF: I feel uncomfortable now.
AT: Hey, I have an idea! You know Mark, the director of marketing over at XXX Company? I can’t get him to sign off on the site refresh. Maybe you could take him out for drinks this week.
SWF: {leaves office looking dejected}
Her 26th birthday is coming up soon. I’m going to buy her this handy little gadget I saw on Jezebel.
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