Like A Bunch of Monkeys… January 9, 2008
….fucking a football. That’s what I think of certain departments in our agency sometimes. Ask them to do something and it’s a game of Who’s On First for a week.
Me: I need an hours estimate for XXX Beverage Company intranet.
Devs: They didn’t tell us the name of their first born children, so we can’t give you an answer.
Me: We know everything they know. At least give me a ballpark.
Devs: 800 hours.
Me: Seriously.
Devs: Unless we have full visibility into their back end, we can’t make an estimate.
Me: Sorry, not gonna happen.
Devs: We’re sorry too. Now go away. We’re creating a sex simulator for the DS.
Long-time listener, first-time caller. I love your blog and read it as often as I can.
But today I have to side with the football-fuckers. You must not have fresh enough welts from having your ass beaten for going over budget for stupid technology issues that could have easily been flagged if a tech on the client side could have been on the phone for a half-hour with your tech folks. Creative’s easy to estimate, and I never go over hours on that side. “Visibility into the back end” isn’t only essential, it’s so fucking easy that it blows my mind when the non-tech folks skip it. I raise a beer to those who dig their heels in and say “no requirements, no estimate.”
It’s like (true story):
Sales - “How much for copywriting - all their product descriptions?”
Me - “How many products?”
Sales - “We don’t know.”
Me - “Then I can’t estimate it.”
Sales - “How about a ballpark?”
Me - “…”
Very true, David. Maybe I just like the mental picture of monkeys fucking a football. It’s how I fall asleep at night.